I still remember the moment I was sucked under, the current burning my eyes as my back scraped against the ocean floor.
Talk about exfoliation... but that was the last thing on my mind.
Did anyone see me get in the water?
Could I scream if I needed to?
How many waves were coming after me, chasing me, pulling me down?
It seems like a lot of us have been pulled down lately, in this community.
We've lost life.
We've lost relationships.
We've lost trust.
I've watched my dearest go through separations, divorces, funerals.
I've had a few deaths of my own; quiet ones of the soul... ones that can't be published here... ones I've needed to grieve alone for the sake of the privacy of others.
Yet every day I wake up to these blue-eyed wonders of kids and I know that when they call me Mama (and a few other names I shouldn't repeat here), they trust me.
I've spent years holding them in the night, offering them my chest when they were small and a bag of Cheetos the moment their immune systems could handle it.
They are my miracles and the ones I thought were only a whisper in a prayer, because my voice couldn't even be raised in faith.
In asking for them I discovered a hand in the dark, the hand of the One who rescued and to this day rescues me from my dark waters.
I don't know what your heart needs tonight, but I want you to know you're not alone.
Maybe you're praying for a miracle. Maybe you're simply praying for air.
My heart is with you, and while I cannot walk beside you tonight, I know the One who can.
He is my love, and He is my exceeding great reward.
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